jakit

The Proper Album Length

I've been listening to the new Strokes' album a lot lately. I really dig The Strokes. I probably listen to them more than anyone, even Dylan, and the new album seems to be on par with their previous two efforts. But I do have one big problem with it; it's too long.

Not too long, time-wise, but too long amount-of-song-wise. It has 14 songs. That's just too many songs for me to really wrap my brain around. I prefer 8 or 10 songs.

The best albums are the ones that you can wholly grasp; and in order to have this complete understanding, I really need 8 or 10 songs. Under 8 is too little, then it's like an EP. Over 10 is too much, too big a statement. And 9 doesn't work because it's an odd number; the ideal album has two equal sides, which demands evenness.

12 songs is tolerable, but it has too be absolutely supreme. Substance, by New Order, is the only 12 song album I've ever been able to fully grasp. 6 songs on each side with a nice, natural linear progression, all held together by a very unique style. But, in general, I dislike 12 songs on an album.

Born to Run and Astral Weeks, two of the ten greatest albums ever, both have 8 songs. Perfect. Absolutely flawless. Every song a masterpiece. Joshua Tree; almost perfect. 11 songs. But see, if we got rid of Bullet the Blue Sky, we'd have a 10 song masterpiece, just like Beggar's Banquet.

There are of course, exceptions. For instance, the occasional, but extremely rare, sprawling double-album masterpiece; London Calling, Exile on Main Street; Paul's Boutique (actually, only a single album, but why get all precise?) Yet these are highly uncommon, and I don't recommend that anyone, except the fully confident rock band, should even attempt it.

There's also the occasional misleading exception. Abbey Road has a whopping 17 songs. Usually, that'd be enough to send me on to the next torrent. But it's tricky, cuz 8 of the songs are from a single medley, thereby putting the actual total of the songs at an ideal 10. Genius. Sgt Pepper's, on the other hand, has an ungodly 13 songs (long, odd and unlucky.) But Sgt Pepper's is extremely overrated; it's quite sub-par; now we know why.

I've actually considered going through all my albums and deleting extra baggage to make them all 8 or 10 songs, max. But that seems a little obsessive-compulsive, doesn't it?

Quote of the Week

"Abraham Lincoln once said that if you are a racist, I will attack you with the North"

- Michael Scott, Regional Manager, Dunder-Mifflin Paper Products

Genova Deli is Overrated

I first went to Genova about 15-20 years ago when I was a teenager. I don't remember much, except that it was small and cramped and that there was a lot of meat hanging from the ceiling. The meat thing alone gave me the sense of authenticity; it wasn't what you saw at the other, tamer, delis.

Years later the deli moved down the street into a brand new, and much larger, space. Since then, I've eaten there many, many times, and they always seem to be busy. The place is very much an East Bay landmark.

But the other day, while eating a mediocre salami and cheese sandwhich, I started to question just why the hell this is.

I think that I, personally, was attracted to the old Genova authenticity and that's why I continued to go. Likewise, I think most people who go there do so because of reputation. But that authenticity isn't really there anymore. Hell, most of the employees are no longer even Italian.

But what really sticks out the most to me is the blandness of the food. I think that the most important characteristic of a deli should be the quality of the ingredients. Recipes don't really mean anything; after all, how many different ways can you make a salami and cheese sandwich? Genova makes them just like everybody else.

Which is fine. But what isn't fine is that their ingredients are just like everybody else's as well (the bread is particularly average.) All their sandwich food seems to be commercially processed and from huge companies. No different then what I would get from a deli in a mall.

Then there's all the imported packaged food that they sell. Olives from some huge pesticide-using conglomerate in Spain are still crappy olives, even if they are imported from Europe. This is California for crying-out-loud, why on Earth would we need to import crappy olives from Spain? I suppose they think that the imported olives lend them a sense of authenticity, but to me it just makes them seem fake.

Genova may be old-school, but unfortunately only in the negative way. They don't seem to be hip to the local, organic, fresh-food revolution that's been happening around them for the last 30 years. They could be selling Niman Ranch salami, Vital Vittles bread and Strauss Cheese. Then they would truly have great sandwiches.

And that's authenticity, not some newfangled California-thing. That's how deli's used to be. The food they sold was local, organic and fresh by default.

So avoid the lines at Genova and go find something truly great. Better yet, get a crispy taco down the street at the new Mexican joint. They have high-quality ingredients and authentic employees.

Stormy Night

Tonight was the kind of night when a Pizza Driver earns his stripes.

Traditionally, we're busy on New Year's Day. It was even busier, though, because of the huge storm hitting Northern California. Add to the mix the fact that The Rock was working at the College store, thereby leaving only two drivers for Montclair, meant that things were, most likely, going to get out of control.

Delivering in the rain sucks. It's, obviously, cold and wet, but it's also harder to find houses, there are slipping hazards, and your car gets all fogged up. Driving Saroni was an obstacle course due to all the fallen trees. But the worst was Skyline.

I had a run of five; starting at El Caminito & Mountain Blvd, then to Westover & Thackeray, then up to Arrowhead & Glencourt, over to Pineneedle & Broadway Terrace, finally down to Robin Hood & Merriewood and back to the store.

After the third delivery at Arrowhead things were running late and I had to jam to Pineneedle. The quickest way was to tear across Skyline from Snake to Broadway Terrace. I should have known better.

Every time it rains this stretch has practically zero visibility. There are few houses and no street lights and the fog just piles in there. Worst of all, there are sheer drops off cliffs on one side. The only way to drive it is to go down the middle of the road and intently focus on the reflectors.

I was going about 5-10 miles an hour down the street, trying to avoid the enormous bodies of water filling up quickly, when I came across a sign that said "Road Closed". It was so foggy I couldn't even tell which road was closed. Was it the continuation of Skyline? Or Grizzly Peak, since I appeared to be at that intersection? The last thing I wanted to do was creep along Grizzly Peak and not realize my mistake until I was in freakin' Moraga. I literally had to open my door to look outside and figure it out.

It was Skyline, but I had to continue on. The order was already well over an hour and the next one was even later. So I ignored the sign and kept going.

I slowly winded down the street, wary of what I might find, but confident that I could overcome it. Alas, right before I reached Broadway Terrace, I rounded a corner and came right on a huge mudslide. A large chunk of the mountain had slid down and blocked the road; only a few hundred yards from where I need to be!

I stared in disbelief and ultimately came to the conclusion that I was going to have to turn around and choose a different route.

So I ever-so-slowly made my way back to Snake, nearly running of the cliff in the process. With better visibility I could now speed up. I tore down to Thornhill, then over to Pinehaven, them up Broadway Terrace to Pineneedle.

As I was hauling-ass, I started to get pissed that I had to go to Pineneedle on a stormy night in the first place. The street is on the boundary of our area, and the edge of the city, right before it hits the forest. The street is so out-there, it's practically forested itself. I wanted to yell at the guy and tell him never to order on a stormy night again. My safety was at stake!

When I got to his house, he came out to greet me with a flashlight. The power was out and had been for a couple days. He pointed to a tree which had fallen into the power lines. It was precariously perched right above my car, with only a few cables to hold it up.

He said that PG&E told him it would be fixed by now. He made a crack about the PG&E workers taking a coffee break. I said they were probably at Crogan's getting drunk.

He laughed and then tipped me $8.

The rest of the night was smoother.